And not for the better. One of my teachers complained to the SS Director that I wanted Disney books removed during class. I did. And I do not apologize for that. There are enough confusing messages out there for preschoolers. If Mickey Mouse was pretend, was Jesus pretend, too?
I got a lecture for it instead of support.
Then a Vacation Bible School (VBS) teacher was angry that she didn't get the room she wanted, and another was angry that her child didn't get the teacher she wanted. And others did not want their children with a certain teacher they did not like. Little things, but they were angry beyond reason and I wasn't ready. And most shocking of all, a teacher confessed to me that she had been deliberately trying to sabotage VBS. I let Satan have that round and I gave up(after 10 years) serving as VBS Director, which I dearly loved.
Next I put my energy into preparing to teach Parenting by Grace until I was told that I was not qualified. I had studied Parenting by Grace, I had taught parenting skills in my job, I was a Christian parent, parenting by grace myself. I was very confused by this information. No one stood in my support. I silently accepted this decision. I was so wounded, I let Satan win that round, too.
I was beginning to relate to Job very well. Unfortunately, I didn't have his spiritual strength. When my husband and I were told that our son could no longer serve as an usher due to his young age (16) I hurt for him far worse than I had been for myself. He had already served for a year, had stood before the church, after a mission trip, and declared that he felt God calling him into full time service, so this did not make sense. The manner in which this came down crushed my son's spirit and he soon began to go to a different church with a friend and later moved his membership. Because of our decision not to discuss this publicly for the sake of church unity our son felt that we, his parents, had not stood up for him. What we had not stood up for was for Jesus. Our savior would not have wanted this. Score another for Satan. By this time he must have been celebrating big time!
The last crushing blow for me was a call to inform me that I needed to meet with church leaders before I could teach in the new church year. Why? The answer "I'd rather not get into it before the meeting." In shock, it didn't even occur to me to ask why I was not told one-on-one of a problem, before being taken before a group. Biblical instructions are to confront one on one before bringing in another when there is an issue. I resigned on the spot, without attending the meeting. The meeting wasn't biblical but I should have attended in order to address that. Satan was now dancing with glee!
I later learned that my teaching the high school seniors to know what they believed before they left home was not in line with the regular Sunday School lessons. When a class member informed me that he would be drinking after the prom, I had warned the class about the penalties of underage drinking and that scripture tells us to obey the laws of the land. This had offended the student and when he complained, adults commiserated with him instead of standing up for his teacher. An interesting aspect was that the family through which Satan was now attacking me was the same family I had stood up for in the previous VBS teacher incident. Though hopefully this teacher never knew about her attackers.
I tried to be stoic as I continued in a state of post traumatic stress. Christ's church which I loved had caused immeasurable harm to my family. How could that be? I received two apologies along the way, but still the attacks continued. And I observed similar instances other families faced. And some left with broken hearts.
At one point when my family was ready to move on, we suddenly had a grandson depending on us to involve him in our church. He loved Vacation Bible School and was very excited about God and inviting friends to church. I believe that God is always in control and it was His plan to use our grandson to keep us in this church family.
The above events (and more) happened more than 10 years ago. Growth and attendance levels dropped after these events yet no one seemed to understand why. But I began to see how some who wanted perfection for a church of imperfect people were tempted off God's path by the great temptress, Satan. I, also, was pretty sure that those who were tempted did not even realize how cunning Satan had been in using them.
The one thing that was missing from my years of bible study was being ready for all of Satan's attacks. I wasn't expecting an attack from my Christian friends. When the world attacks I am not surprised, it does not hurt, it is expected. Friendly fire I had not considered. I had even taught my children to be ready for battle at school, but not at church. My pastor once said in a sermon that the church is the only institution that shoots its own soldiers.
In all difficult situations there are lessons to be learned and of course, I now realize that Satan had to attack my family through the church because that's where we were serving God. A friend whom I confided in during dark days asked me why I didn't change churches. The answer was simple, God was still there. If I left I would be giving up on imperfect people, treating others as they had treated me. That is not what scripture has taught us. The good news is that the next time Satan attacks I will not waste precious time wondering why. I will be ready!
Today I am thankful for all those who make up the body of my church which is still God's church.
"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."
1 Peter 2:9
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