RESPECT FOR MEMORIAL DAY

Yesterday as I placed my red, white and blue items on the counter at Wal-Mart. The young man behind the register asked, "Already getting ready for July 4th?" I replied, "No, these are for our Memorial Day Celebration."

He rolled his eyes!! That got him a quick history lesson he obviously needed, although his facial expressions proved he could not care less. He was more interested in being a smart aleck. How did he slip through the interview process to gain this job?

When I reminded him that the sacrifices that others have made allowed him to have his job and live in freedom he again rolled his eyes. I was not only surprised by his behavior but very disappointed to think that he represents many of the young people in our society. I left quickly before he experienced my wrath.

I did feel righteous anger, and his employer will be getting a copy of this blog. The young man certainly needs to be put in his place. I have talked to young men in foster care who have absolutely nothing, and they are respectful of America and of me when I speak to them.

The justification of my feelings is in part that I have served as guardian ad litem for three young men who are now serving their country in Iraq, Afghanistan and Korea. My husband is a veteran of the Viet Nam era. My son in law serves in the Coast Guard. Moreover, as a teen I watched the suffering of a family as they dealt with the death of their young loved one in Vietnam.

No, this Wal-Mart employee did not know who he was speaking to, but that is my point. I could have been the mother or widow of a recently killed soldier for all he knew. Disrespect in itself is abhorrent but disrespect for America and those who are willing to risk their lives to protect you is an abomination.

HAPPY AND JOY ARE TWO DIFFERENT WORDS

Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10

I have not been happy lately. Not spending time with family members can make me sad instead of happy. Spending cherished moments with family can make me happy, very happy. I like feeling happy. Feeling deep down happiness, well... it makes me happy!

Happiness comes and it goes, depending on a multitude of different circumstances.

I was so happy to see my grandson receive awards for his hard work in middle school Band.

He was happy, too.

Happiness is fleeting and was soon stolen. The joy he brings to my life remains.

Spending time with my daughter at the beach on Mother's Day made us both happy.

Although the real reason we were there on Mother's Day makes me very sad.

Finding myself in a place I never dreamed I would encounter is more than enough to overwhelm my heart with grief. Still, the joy of the Lord remains my strength. Some things would be impossible to bear without that joy.

Even when I am unhappy, joy is with me. I have briefly felt that joy slipping after the death of a baby, while watching my children make life changing mistakes, and when I have made life changing mistakes myself. Thank God that joy is not dependant on my mood or circumstance.

During the past 6 months I have enjoyed many things. While the unhappiness fell like a fog around my heart, it could not permeate my heart. Only because of God's grace and mercy did it not find a home there.

Recently my daughter and son-in-law suffered the loss of a fifth unsuccessful pregnancy. How does my daughter remain hopeful? Why is she still smiling? Could it be because the joy of her faith in Christ gives her strength and hope?

The presence in my home of my only grandson has been denied me since November 15th, 2009. I am reminded of something he said to me and his papa last summer, "I guess ya'll are pretty lonely when I am not here." Neither of us knowing that soon we would find out just how lonely. At the time we had laughed and said, "Not really." We looked forward to his visits each week, however, we did not want him to feel responsible for our happiness.

Helpless to change the current circumstances over which I have no control, I had to do something. Sitting, helplessly waiting is not an option I am comfortable with. I needed to do something. Today I did this.

The yellow ribbon will remain until my grandson is free to visit again.

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! " Isaiah 30:18

I Can Still Feel Him in My Arms

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

is observed by lighting candles on October 15 at 7:00 p.m.

to honor and remember our children.

~

I have felt that I didn't quite fit in this day because

I had not given birth to the infant I lost,

but God surely gave this baby to me.

My first child was not mine but I named him and I loved him.

Spencer was our first foster child.

He was brought straight from the hospital to our arms.

He was beautiful and no one knew at the time

that he had a heart murmur and cystic fibrosis.

His funeral was just 3 months later, on Christmas Eve .

It was a long time ago and yet, I can still feel him in my arms.

You never get over it, but

with God you get through it.

~

Today my daughter lit 4 candles and my heart breaks for her.

~

"..I knew you before I formed you in your mothers womb.."

Jeremiah 1:5

FINALLY!

The Dr finally called with the results of the biopsy.
It confirmed what he suspected and I already knew.

lichen planus
Unfortunately there is no cure for it,
it is a chronic autoimmune inflammatory condition.
Nothing to be done but keep an eye on it.
Magic Mouthwash
(yes that is really the name of a concoction the pharmacist mixes)
is the only med prescribed.
It can come
and go,
so please pray
that it will go away for a while.
I am very hungry
and tired of frozen yogurt!
You would think
I would have lost weight
during the past couple of months,
but it is just the opposite.
Turns out sweet tea
and frozen yogurt
are not an ideal weight loss plan.

~

"Be joyful in hope,

patient in affliction,

faithful in prayer."

Romans 12:12

WHEN GOD MAKES PERFECT SENSE

A few years ago I discovered a Dobson book entitled When God Doesn't Make Sense. I was enduring trials brought on by misguided Christians in my church family. None of it made any sense to me at the time. I asked God why? I thought about Job a lot. I prayed a lot. Still, I was crushed in spirit. As I struggled through those dark days I found ways outside the church to use my gifts instead of dealing with the painful circumstances at church. In effect, I let others decide my response to their own weaknesses.

While Satan may have worked hard to sabotage my assignments from God, he could only have a temporary hold as my strength came from a mighty fortress. Standing firmly now, from the other side of pain, I clearly see that God did make sense all along.

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness"

2 Corinthians 12:9

Had I allowed Him, God would have given me the grace to stand firm in the face of my accusers. Instead for years afterward I would get unexpected barbs from certain persons because they had heard something and accepted it as truth. I ignored these, thinking I was not defending myself. However, I realized later that it was God I was not defending. It was His reputation I did not protect since I was serving in His name.

There is always a reason God allows us to suffer and in the end our actions and reactions should glorify Him. Keeping silent is not always the right thing to do. It is in surviving any ordeal that we are able to relate to others who are struggling. It is then that we are able to share that His promises are indeed true. And this is the likely reason for our trials!

I can not remember where I saw this. It isn't mine. But it is true.

Believe God ~ Follow His instructions ~ Receive His promise

Prayer Request:

The one who reminded me of this verse is enduring a trial of her own. It may appear that God is not making sense right now. Please pray that His plan will soon become clear.

I AM NOT ASHAMED!

Where did you take the name of Jesus today? Did you take Him to your job? Did you take Him with you to hang out after work? Was He sitting at your table? Did you mention His name?

Would you be embarrassed to show His name to the world? I wonder.

WHERE DID YOU TAKE HIS NAME TODAY?

Say I am not ashamed by sending your photos to jesusnamegallery@gmail.com

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all of my heart:... I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2

And don't forget to pray for STELLAN!

DAY 21 - AUTUMN LEAVES

I do not understand.....

... why anyone rakes leaves.

It seems like such a waste of precious time. They will
either blow away or naturally recycle into your grass or ground.

I think they are beautiful and I love how they crunch under your feet.

Today I am thankful for falling leaves that remind us that seasons change as life changes and in a few months after cold dark days, there will be new life again.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:.."Ecclesiastes 3:1

Hope

This afternoon I was waiting for a phone call that did not come. The person who might have called was waiting on the results of blood work. Later I learned that the results had not yet arrived.

This evening my thoughts keep drifting to the what ifs that could affect a loved one. During the past two years there have been many of these days of waiting, and praying. Moments of fear when I let my guard down. Thankfully those moments never grow into minutes or hours. Due only to one important fact. I have hope.

When a friend asked me recently how things were going, I answered, "Great! We now have hope." No sooner had the words left my lips did I realize that I should have said "My hope is renewed." It was always there, but now it was revitalized, stronger than it had recently been. I am never without hope. Hope is what gets me through difficult days and dark nights.

My hope isn't in Doctors, although I appreciate their dedication. My hope isn't in the prayers offered by friends, although I am thankful for every one. My hope isn't in my family or even in myself. My hope is in Christ.

Webster's defines hope as a wish, a chance, a feeling that something desirable will happen. Even the last listing, a feeling of trust, doesn't describe my hope in Christ. Most of the time it is a feeling of trust, but what about when my feelings are wavering on fear. The hope is still there. Therefore, it can't be just a feeling.

God has already proven faithful a multitude of times in my life. But, first He gave me a never ending hope through His son, Jesus. He is the only hope I am assured of. It is all I need.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31