Morning Sunshine

Change Is A-Comin'

Going to lunch with my daughter today was memorable. Dining at our favorite restaurant for the last time as simply Mother and Daughter. Things will change and we can hardly wait to be Mother, Daughter and Granddaughter! The missing piece of us will be arriving in approximately two weeks.

So many lunches have been spent dreaming of this child and how wonderful it would be to have a little one to share our special times. God has heard our prayers and answered. Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!

HAPPY AND JOY ARE TWO DIFFERENT WORDS

Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10

I have not been happy lately. Not spending time with family members can make me sad instead of happy. Spending cherished moments with family can make me happy, very happy. I like feeling happy. Feeling deep down happiness, well... it makes me happy!

Happiness comes and it goes, depending on a multitude of different circumstances.

I was so happy to see my grandson receive awards for his hard work in middle school Band.

He was happy, too.

Happiness is fleeting and was soon stolen. The joy he brings to my life remains.

Spending time with my daughter at the beach on Mother's Day made us both happy.

Although the real reason we were there on Mother's Day makes me very sad.

Finding myself in a place I never dreamed I would encounter is more than enough to overwhelm my heart with grief. Still, the joy of the Lord remains my strength. Some things would be impossible to bear without that joy.

Even when I am unhappy, joy is with me. I have briefly felt that joy slipping after the death of a baby, while watching my children make life changing mistakes, and when I have made life changing mistakes myself. Thank God that joy is not dependant on my mood or circumstance.

During the past 6 months I have enjoyed many things. While the unhappiness fell like a fog around my heart, it could not permeate my heart. Only because of God's grace and mercy did it not find a home there.

Recently my daughter and son-in-law suffered the loss of a fifth unsuccessful pregnancy. How does my daughter remain hopeful? Why is she still smiling? Could it be because the joy of her faith in Christ gives her strength and hope?

The presence in my home of my only grandson has been denied me since November 15th, 2009. I am reminded of something he said to me and his papa last summer, "I guess ya'll are pretty lonely when I am not here." Neither of us knowing that soon we would find out just how lonely. At the time we had laughed and said, "Not really." We looked forward to his visits each week, however, we did not want him to feel responsible for our happiness.

Helpless to change the current circumstances over which I have no control, I had to do something. Sitting, helplessly waiting is not an option I am comfortable with. I needed to do something. Today I did this.

The yellow ribbon will remain until my grandson is free to visit again.

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! " Isaiah 30:18

CELEBRATE MARRIAGE!

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

3 John 1:4

~

It is so refreshing to my soul to see

a couple committed to God

and therefore their marriage.

And when it is my own children what a joy!

~

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

~

ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS - JOY

I was just thinking tonight about how happy I have felt this week. And it occurred to me that some people who do not have a personal relationship with God, might not understand why I could feel happy when so many things have gone wrong lately for me and my family members.

Life has thrown a few punches at us recently. But in the midst of serious concerns there is no reason to feel hopeless or helpless either, for that matter.


Knowing that God is in control and whatever happens He either planned for us or He is allowing to happen means that there is no need to worry or feel anxious. Even when my heart aches for a son who must deal with the ongoing issues of divorced parenting or my daughter who still waits for the gift of motherhood. Even then I know that God loves them and wants His best for them.


When my DH is faced with salary reductions and other job frustrations, I am thankful that he has a job. When my health issues prevent me from physically eating favorite foods or living a pain free energetic lifestyle,, I am assured that God wants me to appreciate other things in my life. (It does make me wonder what He is preparing us for in the future.)

I am happy when my family is happy, but more important than happiness is obedience to God's instructions. Obedience produces joy. I am praying that my children do not take as many years to figure this out as I have.

The third day of Christmas finds me physically tired after all of the celebration activities, but spiritually energized with joy!

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;" Romans 5:3

The First Day of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, I went shopping with one of the loves of my life, my daughter.

We drove to an equestrian town with decorated horse statues scattered about. We explored little antique shops and dined in a blast from the past deli. The most memorable moment of the day was breaking and paying for a small piece of depression glass. So delicate and fragile that when it landed on the carpeted floor it shattered into a million pieces. I wish I had been quick thinking enough to tell the staff that I broke the piece. Then I would have achieved hero status in my daughter's eyes. LOL We made a hasty exit from the potential of additional disaster and headed out to peruse more stable wares. Good times!



I heard that many were busy taking down their Christmas decorations today and I am a little dismayed that Christmas is considered over instead of just beginning. I will not begin putting away the beautiful lights until the new year is upon us. To each his own; however, when it comes to celebrating the arrival of my Lord and Saviour the joyous occasion can continue even beyond Epiphany.

" When they saw the star, they were filled with joy!

They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him."

Matthew 2: 10-11

CONSIDER IT JOY!!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers,

whenever you face trials of many kinds,

because you know that the testing of your faith

develops perseverance.

Perseverance must finish its work

so that you may be mature and complete,

not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

~

I am amazed ,

although I shouldn't be,

at God's grace to me.

I have persevered through trials during my life

and especially the past few years.

And finally know the joy

that comes through this process.

Instead of continually feeling discouraged

after the bumps in the road,

I quickly feel almost elated that

having Satan come after me

is an assurance that I am a threat to his evil plans.

~

Consider this,

if Satan never attacks you,

is it because you are not seen as a threat?

Island Escape

SALTY DOGS

SALTY VETERANS

INTERESTING HISTORY

EXOTIC BIRDS

REMINDERS

BEAUTIFUL SKIES

NUTRITIOUS SUSTENANCE

(it contains carrots)

RELAXATION

AWESOME VIEWS

FAMILY SMILES

FAMILY GAMES

"We had joy, we had fun. We had seasons in the sun."

THANKS MARILYN!!!!!

And Only One Came Back

Remember the story of the 10 healed lepers in Luke? Ten healed and only one came back to give glory to God. (Luke 17:11-19 ASV) This scripture came to mind when I was thinking about the following:

All of the places listed below and more have visited PRAISE HIS NAME and only one has taken a few moments to take a photo of the name of Jesus.

United States
Brazil
Hilton Head, South Carolina
Ireland
Lexington, South Carolina
United Kingdom
Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania
Belgium
South Africa
Colombia
Washington DC
India
La Grange, North Carolina
Italy
San Diego, California
Poland
Pullman, Washington
Mexico
Wallace, Michigan
Hanoi, Dac Lac, Vietnam
Kearny, New Jersey
Kingsport, Tennessee
Weslaco, Texas
Haysi, Virginia
Ellsworth, Maine

WAITING

I had to wait a long time for a scheduled biopsy. The waiting gave me time to become nervous.

I listened to praise and worship music through my iPod to keep myself calm and focused. After an hour alone in the little surgical room I began to wonder if everyone had gone home. It was nearing 6 o'clock and my appointment had been for 4:30.

I clicked the iPod off to listen for activity in the building. What I heard was the Doctor saying "I'm sorry..." I couldn't hear the rest.

Then the Doctor came in and told me the results of blood work (almost all good news)

The biopsy was, despite the stinging anesthetic, nearly painless (why are we surprised when God answers our prayers?). I was leaving when I saw a woman crying in the hallway and I knew that on this day I was the fortunate one.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

James 1:17

Two Reasons I Celebrate Mother's Day!

Leaving the Island Spa

Before returning to the mainland, cleanse and exfoliate the feet to loosen unwilling steps allowing them to follow where ever He leads.

For a quick face-lift, SMILE!

Complimentary anti -aging is available on request. Simply trust and believe and you will live forever.

"How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation, And says to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Isaiah 52:7

Still on the Island

After the detox, massage is available for an unlimited time. Be still and allow the Father to massage your heart. As you feel His love poured out on your soul you will notice all of the tensions and worries flow from your mind and body.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23

A Life is A Life, No Matter How Small

I believe what God's word says about life,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you," Jeremiah 1:5

I vote life not pro choice. As far as I know my Christian friends vote the same way. Any of us would be quick to speak for pro life and against pro choice if we were asked our views. We would probably recite scripture to back up our claims. Why then do we act as if we do not believe this? How can we expect the world to understand our pro life view if we do not live as if we believe it.

When my daughter lost her third pregnancy we were heartbroken. We had viewed the ultrasound, we had prayed for the health of this child. We were devastated. Yet, when Christian friends asked how my daughter was doing and I replied, "She has lost her baby." (not a miscarriage) most said things like, "Oh, that happens, she can have another." Since when are human beings so easy to replace as in, "Oh, you dropped your cookie. Here, let me get you another one."

Thankfully there were a few who said, "I am so sorry. or I am sorry your family has to go through this." And I thank God for those few. Most asked intrusive questions, or made shocking remarks. Even from extended family. So much advice to be sifted through. My daughter, and me too, wanted to scream "This is the third time!"

Even her grandmother's first remark was, "How far was she?" This was the # one question. While we realize it is far more difficult to deal with losing a full term baby than an 11 week one, is one a greater tragedy than the other? That is IF we believe what we say we believe. A life is a life. It felt as if the compassion was rationed out based on how far along the pregnancy was.

Then I began to notice that people rationed out their joy and congratulations in the same way. When I announced to my morning exercise buddies that my daughter had just confided that she is pregnant, one of the women quickly remarked, "What is she, 5 days?" "Actually she is 5 weeks", I answered, and then proceeded to give a short lecture on why women do this to other women. Either you are pregnant or you are not pregnant. If you are pregnant then there is a life and if there is a life are we to ignore it until it is of a worthy age?

I think not. If there is life, then I have a grandchild on the way and it would be negligent of me to skip praying for that child because he or she was not "big enough" yet.

So, the result of all the thoughtless, and sometimes hurtful, remarks was that when my Daughter and Son-in-love were blessed with another pregnancy they decided to tell no one. They made this decision in order to avoid the painful remarks if things did not go well. They told me and my husband and my Daughter's boss and allowed me to share with a couple of friends who did not live nearby. So we had a very small prayer team. Eventually they allowed us to share with my son and his wife.

It is stressful keeping secrets, but the need was emphasized for me one Sunday when a friend at church asked about them. I simply said please pray and shared a recent story where an elderly relative had shook his finger at my daughter and said, "You better get to it." He did not know she was pregnant nor did he remember what she had gone through last spring. His shocking remark caused her to feel pressure to provide the family a child. Pressure she did not need. My "friend" said, "Daughter is hyper sensitive" and said it as a criticism. I became pretty hyper sensitive myself and I had to bite my tongue.

So we all held our breathes and prayed until the first ultrasound, all the while trying to hide our joy. A week after the first ultrasound there was a sign of trouble and another ultrasound was performed with a more hopeful outcome. During these weeks every time a the phone rang I was a little apprehensive about answering. When it was my daughter I didn't relax until I heard her sweet calm voice.

One day my daughter and I went shoe shopping and she allowed herself to walk through the baby section of the department store. Excitement creeping in at the thought of sweet babies.

Then came another ultrasound in December and thankfully a new, kinder and more compassionate doctor to give the dreaded news. Even the nurses in this practise said how sorry they were. And this time the hospital staff were even more compassionate because "it's her 4th loss. " For the rest of the world, my daughter dealt with this nightmare alone except for her husband and parents. This time there were no kind church members to bring food or friends to send flowers. We kept the secret so well that three days after undergoing surgery the two of them hosted our annual extended family Christmas party at their home and the guests didn't even know she had lost a child a few days before. Even writing that breaks my heart. They could have cancelled the party but then we would have had to explain why.

Grieving alone. All because we let others steal our joy. There are so many lessons to be learned through this. We shouldn't allow others steal our joy, live what you say you believe, and have mercy, show compassion and empathy for others pain or loss. All you need to do is say "I'm sorry" or simply give a warm hug. Neither of those things will take away the pain, but they won't add to it either. Allow women to grieve, don't try to sweep away their feelings. Every one's grief is different. I grieve not only for my grandchild but for the dream of motherhood for my child. I, also, grieve for my daughter's lost innocence. Life is hard and it is even harder to watch your children suffer. My daughter's grief is different from the worlds grief. She does not grieve as one without hope.

Grief seems more poignant at Christmas, perhaps because our thoughts are on a baby who came to save the world. There are so many reminders of God's love for us and He will magnify our Joy.

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. "

James 1:2-3

It's Beginning to FEEL a Lot Like Christmas

The past few weeks I have had great difficulty writing my thoughts because they were filled with personal tragedy and heartbreak. Not completely of course, most of the time the hope in my heart overcame those thoughts; however, whenever I put fingers to keyboard the deeper emotions would rise to the surface and I was not at liberty to share those thoughts. By the time I swept them away I didn't have anything I felt I could express. But God does provide us a way to deal with heartbreak. And that is through time. I have always heard people say time heals and I still don't agree. I know that God heals, but He did give us time and as each day passes He shows us that if we stay focused on Him our hearts grow stronger even if they have not healed.

I have always loved Christmas. As a child it was the only day of the year when I received a new toy and the only day when our family appeared "normal" to my eyes. The first year I was married my husbands grandfather passed away which allowed my husband to get leave from the Navy and allowed us to travel home. But it didn't feel like Christmas. It was different. The next one consisted of a 5 minute phone call from Greece where my husband was stopped on his tour with the Navy. Needless to say that was not the Christmas of my dreams either. A few years later we spent the Christmas season at the hospital and a Christmas Eve funeral left a huge scar on my heart. After that there was always a hint of sadness surrounding Christmas. I still loved the music and the lights and seeing faces light up when gifts were bestowed. It was just different. If someone experiences tragedy in December it somehow seems worse because "Christmas is coming". And if that tragedy involves a baby the pain appears magnified by this time of promised joy through the birth of a baby.

Today, with the assistance of my grandson and husband, I decorated my daughter's pink tree in her former bedroom. Though she is married this will always be her tree. My grandson began to sing "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree" and suddenly it did begin to feel a lot like Christmas. When we finished it was so beautiful and it was just what I needed at the moment.

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit." Psalm 51:12